So today is my 23rd Birthday which means a. I'm most likely in the midst of a month long celebration of my life which I like to do every year and b. I can start getting stupidly excited about Christmas! This past year has definitely been one of learning and growing or, in the words of Kylie Jenner, 'realising stuff'. I remember when I was little I thought I'd have my life all figured out by the time I was 21. Oh how wrong I was. Navigating my way through adult/post-compulsory education life has been an absolute minefield so far and I don't see it getting any easier anytime soon but that's all part of the fun of life right?
Over time, I've become the kind of person who tries to take a lesson out of every situation, no matter how good or bad it may have seemed at the time. That way I rarely feel regret about a situation because it has taught me something valuable (and I say rarely because there obviously has been the odd situation I wish had never happened). So, I figured that, on my birthday, I'd share some of these lessons with you.
1. Transient friendships are very real and they're also perfectly normal. Friends will come and go and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes friendships end abruptly, sometimes they fizzle out and sometimes they last a lifetime.
2. Failure isn't the end of the world. In fact, failure can be just what you need to spur you on to achieve even better things.
3. Make the most out of every opportunity, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem at the time. Ask questions, show an interest and most importantly, get involved in everything. You never know when your dream opportunity will come knocking.
4. Outgrowing people is a fact of life. Everyone grows and matures a different rates and sometimes, for the sake of your own personal growth and wellbeing, you have to remove those people from your life who are holding you back.
5. What your family think is best for you might not actually be what's best for you. Your parents will always want you to take their advice but at some point you need to start making your own decisions, even if that means going against them. You know yourself better than anyone.
6. Comparison really is the thief of joy. I've spent so much of my life so far comparing myself to everyone. There was always someone who was prettier, smarter, more sociable than me. But I've come to realise that that didn't mean that I wasn't anything of those things. Everyone is on there own path and there's not point comparing your beginning to someones end.
7. Taking a risk is worth it. Obviously I don't mean the jumping out of a plane without a parachute kind of risk. More the 'pushing yourself out of your comfort zone' kind of risk. Embracing the challenge's that come with leaving your comfort zone makes life that much more interesting.
8. Nothing lasts forever. That applies to both good and bad times. So appreciate the good while they're there and don't let the bad weigh you down too much. They will pass.
9. Live in the moment. Stop worrying about the past and don't stress to much about the future.
10. If it makes you happy, do it.
11. Love yourself first. The sooner you put yourself first and everyone else second the happier you will be.
12. Don't bother trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to not understanding you.
13. You can't please everyone so don't even bother trying.
14. Having a bad day doesn't mean you have to have a bad week, month or year (hello Friends reference). Compartmentalise that day and start the next a fresh.
15. Don't go changing who you are to fit in with the crowd. Be proud to be obsessed with 'alternative' music. Own the fact that you hate the idea of clubbing and would rather spend your Saturday night tucked up on the sofa watching a good movie. Different strokes for different folks and all that.
16. Take as many pictures as is humanly possible. This is a massively superficial one but those pictures will bring back so many good memories when you look at them. I started scrapbooking all my old concert and theatre tickets and it's brilliant being able to look back and see what you were doing 5 years ago.
17. Stick at it, even when things get tough. Nothing great ever came easy.
18. Never rely on anyone other than yourself to give you happiness. People can come and go but a happy mindset is forever, even if it does take a lot of work achieving it.
19. Embrace new and different things. In my opinion, life would be extremely boring if you did the same thing day after day. Say yes to that spontaneous trip, order that weird looking dish at a restaurant and go and see that show your friend recommended.
20. Be selfish with your time and your energy. If you don't want to go somewhere, don't. If you're feeling mentally drained, take some me time.
21. Leading on from number 20, self-care is extremely important. That can be something as small as taking 5 minutes out of your day to do some meditation, having a candlelit bath on a Sunday or taking those extra 5 minutes to do your makeup. Or it can be as big as having a social media free month/3 months.
22. You can't solve everyones problems so don't bother trying. I've been the emotional crutch for all my family members and a lot of my friends at some points in time and it drained me. I was dealing with my own stuff and then their stuff on top pushed me to the brink of a mental breakdown. Your mental health is extremely important and it's okay to step away and say 'you know what, I don't need to be hearing or dealing with this'.
23. And, finally, fake it till you make it. I'm definitely up there as one of the least confident people but it's amazing what faking confidence can do. Eventually you start to blur the lines between faking it and actually being confident. When you're in a crap mood, smile. Trick the brain into thinking you are happy and everything starts to seem a little bit better.
That was a long one, but I had a lot I needed to get off my chest! Let me know if you've experienced anything similar or if you have lessons you'd like to add yourself.
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